14. Reviewing your life
Are you living fully in al four aspects of your life?
As discussed previously we have four aspects to our existence. Physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Living in balance/harmony requires involvement with all four of these aspects. Neglecting any part of our self can lead to us living without full clarity, feeling dissatisfied and frustrated… not quite fulfilled or incomplete.
We all have a primary aspect that we tend to focus on and that is absolutely good and well. This in itself is not problematic, it is more about the aspects that we neglect that give rise to problems. Hard work (physical) without heart (emotional) is simply drudgery. Hard work that you love (emotional) without any understanding of how you contribute to the bigger picture (mental) can become unfulfilling. Hard work without connection to your worth (spiritual) may well feel empty and uninspired. If you are full of great ideas (mental) that excite you (emotional) and yet you never take any action (physical), you are likely to feel frustrated or unfulfilled (spiritual). You can play with the different combinations and you’ll see clearly that unless you are engaged in your physical activities, emotionally present, knowing what you are doing and why you are doing it, and bringing yourself joy or worth, you will be missing something in life. You will not be living a balanced existence.
So how do you remedy this imbalance. It starts with taking a long hard review of your life. You’ll need to be brutally honest with yourself about what you are spending your time on, how you feel about it, figuring out why you are doing it, and what you are getting out of it. I spent years working 12–14 hours a day, six days a week. The seventh day I slept. I was all work and no play. I didn’t spend time exercising. I didn’t take time to be joyful, I simply worked because I had been taught that service was my super-power and unless I served tirelessly without question, I had no worth. I gave up my emotional health to a set of prescribed rules that were ingrained in me from the day I was born, and I never learned to question them. I automatically dismissed as wrong anything I encountered that challenged that thinking. I was derelict in my spiritual aspect and had no connection to myself. I was not raised to be conscious of my own value. What I wanted didn’t matter. My role in life was to serve, regardless of what I thought or felt and it was preferred that I didn’t feel anything at all. I was taught that I had to be grateful for any opportunities that I was given to serve, since I had no inherent value of my own. The more invisible I could be, the better, and I was to never rock the boat or have an opinion of my own, or question authority. There was significant punishment if I ever stepped out of line and so I learned to do as I was told, because it was all I was worth.
My life pretty much deteriorated over the course of thirty years until I collapsed completely. It has taken me a very long time and a lot of hard work to discover who I am, and what my value is. It is taking even longer to change the habits of a lifetime and to move away from that ingrained indoctrination and brainwashing. My mother was mentally ill and had little to no control over her thinking. My father was so involved in trying to keep her happy that I was never a priority. I have had to examine my life with uncompromising honesty and have had to learn to see where I allowed this all to happen. For once I accepted that I was no longer a victim to what had happened to me, I could begin to take charge of making the necessary changes to begin living my life, on my terms, in a manner that I chose, that brought me joy. There were so many warning signs along the way. My whole being tried so hard to bring me back to resonance, but I could not hear the warnings and I would not see the signs. It isn’t necessary to fall completely apart to redirect your life. If you are living mindfully, paying attention to your four aspects, you will spot the signs of imbalance and can make minor adjustments along the way to recalibrate your life. You will know when you are balanced because you will be at peace, you will have purpose, you will have drive, and you will have joy in your life. Start today. Start the process of self-examination, you won’t be sorry. Remember that…
Nothing is a problem, until it becomes a problem for you, and then change is inevitable.
As always, I offer you my understanding of things. I encourage you at all times to question and decide for yourself what you want to accept and onboard. I am always interested to hear your opinions and I encourage feedback. However, it is essential to understand this vital truth as we journey together:
We don’t have to agree on a single thing to be kind to one another.
So, disagree with me by all means, own your different perspective, but please remain respectful of other’s beliefs and journeys.
Treat yourself with EMpathy and EMbolden yourself to dream. EMerge from your learned way of being, allowing yourself to celebrate life as you EMbrace your full potential. EMancipate yourself from your limitations, EMpowering yourself to live with greater clarity and joy!
Until next time when I shall introduce you to self-examination: a time to get real with yourself, be kind to one another and honor yourself as the unique and incredibly special soul that you are.
© Copyright 2020 — Janice Melmed
